Friday, June 18, 2010

Guest Post: Nurturing your Marriage

This guest post is brought to us by Rosalie Mastaler. After a year of trying to conceive, Rosalie is awaiting the arrival of her first child in a few short weeks. Rosalie has been married to her high school sweetheart Michael for four years. She loves music and preforming, and teaches piano to students in Apple Valley and Hisperia California. I met Rosalie almost 5 years ago through an international teaching program in Russia. Rosalie is a great friend, selfless and full of joy. I'm grateful to know this awesome mommy! I thought this post was especially appropriate this week as we celebrate the fathers in our lives.

Recently, as I await my son's arrival, something hit me a little harder than it ever has before. Although I've definitely thought about the change Hunter will bring, and how Michael won't be alone much longer, for the first time I was a little saddened by it. For four wonderful years it has just been the two of us. Even before we were married we'd known each other for nearly ten years, and although those past ten years we weren't always together, we were always just us, we were never parents. Now the time has come to be bringing new life into this world and it's going to be the most incredible experience we have shared. I know it's going to be life changing, and more than I could ever expect, but one thing for sure is that the relationship between Michael and I will change. I don't mean that in a negative way, AT ALL, but it will be a big change in our lives. Don't get me wrong, we can't wait for a little man to arrive. We are counting down the days, hours and minutes, and we look forward to and are so incredibly thankful for this is amazing blessing.

Last night I cuddled with Michael and I told him, "I'm going to miss it just being you and I." He innocently replied, "Ya, you're going to have a new love of your life," so I told him "You will always be my number one!" I told him that we'll still have to hang out, with just him and I! These feelings DO NOT take away from the excitement of having our little Hunter, but I've seen more and more cases where the wife/mother, forget about their husbands because they are so infatuated with their children.
It's not healthy. Heavenly Father first gave me a husband and then we will have our dear, sweet children. We will raise them together, as a team, and we will be a foundation for them to rely on. How could we do that if we are not one? Husband and wife time is so important and it makes me sad to see mothers who have forgotten that. I will be attached to my children (How could I not be!?) But I'm already attached to my husband and will be forever. Besides, before we know it, our kids will grow, and then it will be just Michael and I again. These feelings and thoughts DO NOT take away from motherhood whatsoever, but I hope that mothers/wives remember to keep a strong and eternal bond with their husband so that they may raise their children together as one.

*A Note from the Blog Author*

Rosalie and I have talked about this at length. We have decided that it is easy to place an emphasis on the children rather than your marriage, after all a husband can clean, care for, feed himself where a baby relies only on their caregivers for physical and emotional well being. If you neglect your child they will suffer physically right before your eyes. They will scream and shout. It often takes several months and even years to actually see the toll neglect in a marriage will take. Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, authors of Baby Wise emphasize the importance of fostering this sacred relationship with your spouse. "Healthy, loving marriages create a sense of certainty for children. When a child observes the special friendship and emotional togetherness of his parents, he is more secure simply because it isn't necessary to question the legitimacy of his parent's commitment to one another. If a child perceives more weakness than strength in this relationship, we believe this perception produces a low-level anxiety in the child. Ultimately, the anxiety affects all of the child's learning disciplines."

Ask yourself, "What have I done for my marriage today?" How do you continue to share a special relationship with your spouse while raising children?


  1. Well said Rosalie :) I've already put my two cents in with my note but I just wanted to add that I think you are a great wife to Michael and you are going to be a great mom. I don't think you'll have any trouble in the balance.

  2. Aw thank you so much Melissa! You do such a great job too as a Mommy/wife! Michael and I look forward to this great change in our lives (who by the way is hiccuping in my stomach right now! ha ha ha) And there's nothing more that makes a marriage stronger than some good challenges. I know that Hunter will bring us closer together in ways that I cannot yet comprehend and I cannot wait!