I have a great friend who is 8 months pregnant. She is elated. Ecstatic. She could not be happier. After trying for over a year to conceive she is only one month away from welcoming her baby boy into the world.
Since she has started trying to get pregnant we have a running joke about the comments people make without really thinking. Comments that I never really noticed until she started getting annoyed. Comments that revolve around the theme "just you wait."
Before she got pregnant she would express her desire to become so. "Just you wait," they would say "pregnancy is not easy."
After she became pregnant, the frequency of the comments doubled. "Just you wait until the morning sickness kicks in..., Just you wait until you gain 50 pounds and see how happy you are then...Just you wait until the third trimester, then see how happy you are."
As the time grows closer and she expresses her excitement--it has gotten exponentially worse. "Just you wait until the baby comes, you will have no time for yourself...just you wait until you are up all night, you'll wish you were still pregnant..."
How is she supposed to respond? "Oh you are so right, I didn't think of this before...I'm going to be so unhappy."
I too have experience the "just you wait syndrome" Just the other day I excitedly shared that my daughter was taking her first steps. "Just you wait a few weeks, she'll be into everything and you'll wish she wasn't walking." Sure as she grows, so will the work and effort of parenting. I understand that--but there is no way I would want to stop her progress in life to make it easier.
Sure--people don't mean any harm. It is very innocent--but we need to think about what we are saying before the words leave our lips.
There are several things wrong with Just You Wait Syndrome. First of all, are you saying it for the benefit of the recipient? Or are you trying to squeeze your way into the center of the conversation? More importantly, why do you need to take the joy out of the moment? Wouldn't a better response be: "That is so exciting, I'm so happy for you!"
I am guilty of J.Y.W.S. I've probably said this to many of my friends...but honestly, what right do I have? Just because I have experienced something before, doesn't make me an expert on the experience!
I think it is especially important in your circle of MOMS to be supportive. Be happy. Think about what you are about to say. Will you be a listener, someone people want to share with?
Have you ever experienced J.Y.W.S? Does it even bother you?
List at least one of your pet peeves, and if possible, a great way to handle the situation.